Liar Liar Pants on Fire

When I was a child I was a compulsive liar.

I lied about anything and everything.

The one lie which sticks out in my mind the most is one that ended up involving the police. I don't know how it ever actually ended but there are parts I remember vividly.

It started because my neighbor, Dillian, and I were playing in my yard near the trashcans. I had this tree in the yard that grew these strong scented orange things. I don't know if they were edible or what. Well a bunch had fallen off and we were picking them from the tree climbing on the white, brick fence and throwing them playfully at each other.

Well Dillian threw one that hit me in the eye. It didn't hurt, just surprised me.

At some point later that day, maybe even the next day, my sister notices my eye. I apparently had a shiner. She shows it to Mom and they ask me what happened. Rather than say it was an accident I came up with this huge elaborate story that these two guys drove up in a station wagon and one of them hit me.

I remember the cops coming and asking for a description. I don't know how I described them but I remember saying that they had animal furs, like tiger fur, in their car, and guns. They definitely had guns.

We were standing in the living room. I was against the wall closest to the front door, I remember the beige pink of the cold floor tiles. I had my hands clasped behind my back, fidgeting, but always keeping them clasped, whether it was in the front or back.

I told the story eagerly.

I don't know if it was an obvious lie, if they actually looked for these fictional characters who punched me in the eye. Maybe it was a trick to get me to tell the truth, to learn my lesson, to see how far I would take the lie.

I have no idea.

I just remember telling that stupid, ludicrous lie.

I did lie about everything.

Although, this whole story could be a false memory for all I know. Maybe it didn't happen. Maybe I imagined it all up...