The best medicine.

I am currently a fan of The Big Bang Theory. TBBT is lovely.

I often, or always, watch it with Lauri. At first he was skeptical, but now he has been turned onto it.

Which is great. Because he laughs.

I love it when he laughs. I also love it when he smiles.

So it may be that it's not the show I find so addicting, but his laughter next to me.

I did worry that our relationship would get difficult due to a lack of laughter.

It makes me feel like a million dollars.

I love it.

Writings on the wall...

I made a reminder for myself to write a blog about superstitions.

It occurred to me to do such a thing because I am incredibly superstitious. Now, I'm not an extreme when it comes to superstition. I don't mind if a black cat walks across my path. I don't mind if someone opens an umbrella inside (as long as it's not over their head). And I just think it's common sense to not walk under ladders.

I don't think there is seven years of bad luck when you break a mirror, but it sure scares the hell out of me when I drop one. Nothing is broken yet.

But there are little things I abide by. I wont pick up a penny unless it's heads up. Also, with my wedding, I am practically going to inhale something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. And quite frankly, I'm wracking up my brain on figuring out what to borrow.

I have time though.

I just feel that the traditions that have been carried on through the generations should be followed to an extent. Even if it's not truly luck, it can give the sense of accomplishment and success and is less likely to steer into eventual failure.

I have not immersed myself into weddings and such. I've only been to my sister's wedding and a friend's wedding. But I was not hugely into it, like the stereotypes suggest. I was the Maid of Honor for my sister, but I didn't do much for her. So, I don't know what to expect.

Now I have something old: my grandmother's jewelery. Something new: my dress.* Something borrowed: I got nothin'. Something blue: I'm working on it. I'm thinking some sexy undies.

I do plan on doing some research on Finnish wedding traditions as well.

Wedding Superstitions

A few of things made me nervous, I admit.

I read through them all and I am incredibly fascinated...

*It is not a white wedding dress since this isn't a full blown wedding, just a small ceremony to get officially married.

Early Bird Special: Me. Me! Mói! Minä! Yo! Mí amore.

Yesterday was a beautimus day.

Lauri and I discussed plans to no end.

So I was excited. I couldn't sleep even. I fell asleep around 2:30, if I'm lucky. I was awake at 6 AM, as planned. Hopped on my elliptical for ten minutes and have been enjoying my morning.

I've been thinking about our "wedding" non-stop. We're not having a white dress wedding. We're just officially getting married, and it's simply delightful.

I've already bought my dress, a cute darker purple dress. I'll wear it with my lacy Spanx, my shiny black kitten heels... and I'm considering my grandmother's set of black jewelery, it makes a statement. Or the ivory roses. But I do wonder, I have the something old, something new, does the jewelery count as borrowed even though she's passed on?

I did figure maybe I'll just purchase some cute blue panties set.

I'm worried about my hair. I finally manned up and purchased some hair extensions, clip in. I can dye them. I'd like to return to my natural blond color. But light brown looks good on me too. I need slightly darker hair colors because my skin will look green otherwise, or I just look washed out. Too dark and I look blueish green, I look sick actually. I'm worried red would be too bold, and so I think I want blond, so these extensions will last a life time. Ok, not a lifetime, but they should last about a year I think. A long time anyway.

I'm excited. We're going to have our wedding at Maestratti in Hämeenlinna. It will be my dad, my grandmother, my stepmother, Lauri's dad, mom, her boyfriend (of like ten years), Lauri's brother and his wife, and maybe his best friend Nikke. Then we shall go have a celebratory dinner.

Then maybe the next weekend have our Honeymoon. Seems we planned on Tallinn. I believe I convinced him 3 days and two nights. Which is just right, methinks.

I'm so excited.

Life has turned out wonderfully the past few months.

It's all the world a difference when you make the effort.

My Point. Period.

Warning: This entry involves talk about lady business.

This past week has been a very uncomfortable and squishy week for me.

I quit my birth control a month ago. So rather than questionably light periods and being able to time it almost to the hour, I got to have a real period.

Now, I don't know about *your* education, Lauri quit smiling, but I sure as hell was not thoroughly educated about what happens to the girls once a month.

All I learned was what happens when we hit puberty. Girls get big boobs and their lady bits bleed and they experience acne. Now, from the Brady Bunch I learned that with boys their voice changes and from there I also learned their testicles drop and hair starts growing in funny places.

I knew more about boy's puberty than my own!

I actually didn't learn about the hair growing in funny places until I, myself, began to hit puberty. Imagine my horror seeing these dark hairs sprouting where my lady business was supposed to me. WHAT WAS HAPPENING!? IS THIS NORMAL!? I asked the internet, I think. Or just accepted being a monster with some kind of deformity until I saw my mother naked and realized it was ok, she also had it. So it must be hereditary. Pfft.

Thank my lucky stars I knew my lady bits were supposed to bleed. So I was delighted when my period started. Although one of my childhood friends was there with me and was jealous and basically accused me of punching/stabbing myself in the vagina, since she herself had not hit puberty yet. I mean, shit, give me a break! I was having issues with my boobs sprouting. I never went through the training bra phase. I stuck to sports bras because they minimized my chest because I was in the 5th grade with little lady lumps! No one else had them!

Then I went straight to a b-cup when I bought my first bra. I remember my sister being amazing and horrified, maybe, when my mom suggested the same cup size as my older sister. Who already knew the ropes about puberty, buying fancy underwear, and probably knew about the ever so wrongful sex.

So at that point I have the puberty thing understood. Now the mysterious monthly cycle.

What did I know about it? Just that I was supposed to bleed once a month and wear a lady diaper, I mean, a pad, because tampons scared me. TSS was a horrifying thought. But eventually my gynecologist convinced me they were for the best, and now I hate pads.

Anyway, so in school it was never explained to us ladies that we would experience things like cramps, aches in the breasts, being bloated, skin breaking out before the period due to a hormonal change, headaches, fatigue, feeling like someone punched you in the cooter, the assumed craving for chocolate triggered by your period, only to find out that it's only a mental thing. Chocolate and greasy fried foods make me happy and by golly when my period is as bad as it was this week, I want happy foods. Eventually we girls learned about these period problems from watching TV when at home sick and seeing a commercial for Midol. Some skinny chick going to her yoga class and her friends being like, OMG YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD HOW DID YOU MAKE IT TO YOGA!? SHOULDN'T YOU BE LYING IN YOUR DEATH BED!? And she's all, LOL, no, I took Midol *conveniently holds up box for camera and friends to see* OOOOH, OK. Then she wants a brownie. WTF.

I've only been dwelling on this because the speaker last night had informed us that in some cultures the woman having her period gets to be in her room, by herself, for a whole week, with her husband bringing her delicious food 3 times a day, leaving her alone. It's the time that's all about her. She lazes around thinking about herself, making herself feel amazing.

Which is unfair because if I told my teacher that I missed school this week for my period, she'd be like, So? You weren't on your deathbed, I'm sure you could have made. Bah, usually I could.

But not this week. Every angle of having my period sucker punched me. I was rather miserable until evening. But that usually entailed because I was in bed until the hours between 1 and 4. Then I crawled out of bed, ate whatever I could stomach, and snuggled the couch and watched CSI, and Bones. Lauri would come home by the time I finally took a shower and I'm feeling well enough to wander and chatter to him, although I'm uncomfortable, I don't want to bring him down with the wrath of my bloody vagina.

Am I missing anything? I think I got it all down...

Women's Circle

First and foremost, someone hacked my last account so this is a new blog.

Starting fresh and it's about damn time!

I have finally crawled back into my own skin. No longer do I feel naked with only a mask.

I am a member of the American Women's Club, here in Helsinki Finland.

We have a monthly meeting with a guest speaker.

Now due to unforeseen circumstances... I'm making this up. I have been unable to attend a few of the meetings. (School, depression, I dunno. Making excuses.)

Well this evening I finally saddled up, went out the door and crossed treacherous patches of ice...

I made it to the meeting with this fabulous woman from Wisconsin who discussed "Women's Circle", a discussion of how women ought to treat each other versus how we actually do treat each other.

It got me to thinking about dozens of things.

Competition was a big topic. It occurred to me that it's true.

Things of competition popped into my head: So what if I'm overweight, at least I'm overweight in all the right places, unlike some people* I know. / I am a way better hair dresser. At least I'm brave. At least I know what I'm doing. / So what if she's skinny, at least my husband is handsome. ETC. Yes, I AM guilty of these sorts of things. There are many more but I will feel guilty for opening up old cans of back stabbalicious spam. Things I still feel competitive about prance through my brain but I at least keep it to myself and understand that it's wrong to act upon those impulses.

I am a very competitive woman, and I know it.

I gossip, I know it, but even before this meeting I caught onto my problem and now I shut my mouth when I realize I'm gabbing too much.

It gets difficult for me though because I have a cohort who does NOTHING but gossip about her "friends" and their husbands. Albeit she tells the same damned stories over and over and makes me want to hit myself with a bus to get her to stop...

She IS the one who opened my eyes to a problem I had, although she doesn't realize it. I did point out that she shouldn't talk about her friends like that and she laughed and said she knew and that other people tell her the same things but then she continues.

It could be for many reasons she does this. I do wonder if it's a way to block me out because unless I'm talking bad about my life, complaining about my significant other, she doesn't care. If I'm in a good mood and happy with how everything is going, she listens for a minute and then goes on about her and her friends and their husbands and yadda yadda. Tries to one up me I reckon.

I realized that was bad behavior and not behavior I wanted to partake in, although I fail at not partaking because I come home and gossip to my significant other about what he said and she said and how they feel and what they said.

There is SO much animosity with the girls I know and I guess it's based on the job we're going into.

Hair dressing. Isn't that like the home of Gossip?

I guess my idea is that the gossip is between the hair dresser and client. But I don't know yet. We'll see what the real world has to offer me.

Now, as I can recall, I was rather raised by my books than my parents. When my dad could afford the time, I spent every moment trailing him around the house, if I wasn't watching TV (Sabrina the Teenage Witch) or reading books (mostly fantasy). I saw my mother on the weekends a few times. But I spent those days playing with the neighborhood children.

I personally feel that it was my books that raised me, although I was influenced by my siblings and eventually my parents' influence showed up.

I guessed my way around things and figured out what was right and what was wrong.

Being from the South is tricky though, because I am Finnish, and I haven't picked up on the Southern Hospitality thing. I would like to, but I fear it would scare my Finnish friends. So I am a little uncertain.

I wandered off topic.

So the whole theory of the meeting was that women, all women, should treat each other like sisters. Good sisters that is. Ones that don't gossip. They braid their hair and stuff. I am NOT a public speaker so you're getting the toilet paper of the speech.

Had my sister and I not made up and forgotten our differences and tossed the past into the past and opened up to each other, I think I may have scoffed at the whole speech, really.

It takes time and patience I believe to be close to one another as we are.

For someone who used to hate babies, she sure wants to be an auntie real soon. NO BABIES YET!

I am a terrible writer... I stray off topic all. the. time.

I'm just too excited. And easily distracted...

*This most likely does not refer to you, because I'm not THAT bad. Ok, I don't really know people I feel that way towards, except once in a blue moon when she gossips my ear off and I just want her to shut. up.